If you have never heard of Victoria Holt, she writes novels which are categorized as “Gothic Romance.” The plot lines always involve intrigue, romance, dark foreboding men, beautiful women, mysterious houses….

I started reading her books as a teen, and the stories tend to stick in my memory. One in particular has always intrigued me. A girl grew up helping her father in his work as a painter, learning and becoming very talented in her own right. He is hired to paint the portrait of a ruthless baron, who is very taken with the young woman. When her father dies, the baron expresses an interest in the woman, but she brushes him off. Years later, he kidnaps her, making love to her, and making her fall in love with him.

The novel struck a cord in me, even as a teen, though I was unwilling to explore why at that point. But I love the thought of a strong man taking what he wants, and forcing surrender in a weaker, softer female.

I never thought of myself as a submissive person. But I have always had a certain fearful respect for male authority figures… my father, police men, etc. I have also had this desire to please people for as long as I can remember.

I have a friend who began to dabble in Gor about a year and a half ago, and he used to tell me about his travels. Around that same time, I developed a friendship with a girl named Kimi, who is owned in real life. I asked her why she was in that type of relationship, and she replied very candidly. She said that she didn’t always make the best decisions, and her Master made sure she didn’t make mistakes. As I have always led with my heart rather than my head, I too made a lot of mistakes, so this appealed to me.

Since my main account is rather well known in Second Life, with a high profile business, I created an alt. I began to explore Gorean sims. I went to Port Kar, and met a slave named Eve, who was extremely friendly to me and other girls she called “sister.” I was impressed at the level of warmth in her relationships with other slaves.

I traveled on to Port Cos, which was mostly empty, save for a man on the docks. I walked past him several times, hoping to get his attention, and was about to leave when he IMed me. We spoke for about two hours, and he explained a lot to me. I left, but went back the next day to submit to him, my heart pounding.

One thing he said was that one of his rules was total anonymity. I agreed to this rule, as I really did not want people knowing who I really was. At first, I pretended to be new to SL. But within a few days, I knew this man was going to become important to me, and I had to be honest with him. So I told him who I really was, and he punished me.. by keeping me dressed in the symbolic white silks, though I was already opened.

So began my journey. Though romantic and lovely in many respects, it’s certainly not a fairy tale. I’ve made too many mistakes for that.